A new FebYOUary

So it's Feb.1. All in all, I'm think 2010 is off to a good start.
I spent January focusing doing something for me each day. It's been a good experience. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. Sometimes, it's easy to forget I have needs when I'm so busy taking care of everyone else it seems.
I'm going to continue my "do something for myself" theme for the rest of the year, but I think I need to add a little something to it.
For February, I'm going to be more conscious of honoring myself and my body -- according to my needs -- not the messages from the media, my family and friends or anyone else.
This is something we learn about when going through eating disorder recovery. Truth be told, I'm not sure how much I actually embraced it.
I know, for a fact, I'm really good at denying it.
Example: There is a tape that plays in my head CONSTANTLY -- it's ED -- but I have a hard time deleting this tape. Each winter, it's harder to get out and be physically active -- especially since I've fallen a couple of times this winter and really hurt myself. So I tend to not so much gain weight, but fill out...
I easily allow EDs tape to play. Spending far too much time beating myself up for the plumpness.
So today I let it go. I hit "stop" on that tape player, took out the imaginary tape and jumped up and down on the cassette. (Yes, that tape is that old)
All I've really wanted to do this winter is hibernate. It's been dark and cold and I have craved time at home to do nothing and everything -- but not spend a lot of time away from homing serving others.
What do other animals do while they hibernate? They lose muscle tone. The use up their stores. I've decided that's what I've been doing.
Ya know what? That's OK. I'm honoring an instinct.
But the days are getting shorter and more and more I'm finding myself wanting to take a walk and I do when I can.
Today I registered for a 10K in May. I like to have a goal and this will be a fun event.
It'simple things. Paying attention when my stomach tells me I'm full. Allowing myself to take a nap sometimes. Reading. Sewing. It's not that I'm shirking responsibilities. But I'm letting go of the, "You have to earn joy" thing. Been working on that for years.
But there's more to it than even all those things. Today I looked in the mirror. I looked haggard. Beat up. I didn't actually feel that way. I just looked like it.
So to honor my body today, I took a nice shower, I brushed my hair. I put a little bit of mascara on. Lip gloss. I put on clean clothes.
I'm not going to be on the cover of vogue, but I put on clothes that honored my body and my mood.
So again this month, I'll issue the challenge to you. How are you honoring yourself and your body today?