Sunday, sunday...sunday...

Ok, so I didn't make it to church today. This isn't particularly unusual,as I rarely make it to church. The difference is I actually kinda wanted to go. Katy being at the new Christian school has caused me to look a little deeper into my faith -- wanting to explore it more.
The thing is, church is incredibly inconvenient. The local mass is at 5 on Saturday and those of you with kids understand that either you have been doing something all day and by 5 have cranky children or are on your way to do something with kids and probably running late anyway. Sunday morning masses are at least 30 minutes away. So no only do I have to get up and dress like I give a damn I have to drive more than 10 minutes.
Lame excuses for avoid hanging out with my fellow Catholics in the light of God, I know.
So I'm sitting here at 10 minutes 'til 10 trying to decide what to do with myself today. I have a long list of things I SHOULD do. Let's see; prep for a Girl Scout meeting, clean various rooms, laundry, bills...bla, bla, bla. What do I WANT to do? I'm not entirely sure at the moment. What would bring me JOY? Hmmmm.... I'm thinking cooking. My sister and her boyfriend are coming over to watch football -- So I'm thinking food is in order. That would be fun. The bonus is, the kitchen is near the laundry room so I could mutli-task -- and then knock a few things off the SHOULD list.
I'm always amazed at how much I relax in the kitchen -- although I can easily burn out on cooking. Sometimes there is the mundane task of chopping -- peaceful in its simplicity. There is the creativity in building something beautiful and edible. Perhaps, for me it is that I can get lose in the kitchen as easily as I get lost in writing or while reading a good book. There is also the other part of me...the rebel.
It's my opportunity to rule over the food instead of the food ruling me. I have to be careful here because it's easy to lose control and eat uncontrollably, but in general I can reign supreme here.
Friday and Saturday I made yummy cakes for a cake auction at Katy's school. They turned out splendidly. I love being able to feed other people and bring them joy. I have to be careful, though, not to take it too personally when they don't want to eat what I've prepared or if someone doesn't like what I place in front of them.
This came up recently because my son refuses to eat anything outside of his 4 main food groups; pizza, ham and cheese sandwiches, cereal and chicken nuggets.
My husband and I have gone the rounds -- using every trick in every book and every piece of advice I've ever heard. The kid won't eat.
Then the other day, I got to thinkin' -- why does it matter. He's not starving. He's probably not getting enough vitamins, but I can throw a Fred Flinstone vitamin at him every so often. He'll live. It's not that he doesn't appreciate what's in front of him--it's simply that he's not into the big meal. He can feed himself if he's hungry.
I can require him to sit and the table for family meals. He can participate in the discussion, but forcing him to eat really solves nothing and creates all sorts of other problems.
So my husband and I decided to let this go. We made up new rules. He, like the other kids, have to eat something before they leave the house. Often they're not hungry for a big breakfast -- but they have to have a little something before they go to school. Then, if they don't like the food that's prepared, they have to take a "no-thank-you-bite" and then they can move on. I will not prepare a separate meal for them. If they don't like what's being served, they can either go without or make themselves something else.
My son or my other children's lack of interest in what I've prepared is no reflection on me or my cooking. I have to allow them to respect their body and their taste buds. While I've heard all sorts of people tell me I'm allowing them to get away with too much -- that the children should have to sit down at the table and eat what's in front of them and if not it's a sign of disrespect... but why?
We don't need anymore eating disorders in the family. We aren't starving or destitute. There are some boundaries; no pop. No junk-food without something healthy to balance it out. No eating after 7 p.m. -- unless the rest of the family is eating at that time too. If they choose not to eat their no thank you bites, then they clean the kitchen and do the dishes by themselves.
It's another in my list of what I did for myself. I was sick of the arguments and battles over food. I was sick of the stress at the dinner table. They'll have all sorts of ways to disrespect me as they grow up -- why on earth do it over food?
And maybe, just maybe, they'll grow up respecting their bodies. Eating when they're hungry, stopping when they're full.
How bad would that be?