Pop Star Perfect

This evening, I cooked something I had never cooked before.
Popcorn.
Of course, I've put popcorn in an air popper a million times up 'til now, but tonight, I put oil in a pot, heated it up and tossed in popcorn kernels.
There was such joy as each kernel exploded and bounced against the lid.
As a child, this is how popcorn was always popped. My older sister had an old, beat-up kettle she'd set upon the stove top after adding cooking oil. The popcorn was darker, heavier than the air popped version. It was smoky, chewy and wonderful.
It had this smell -- greasy but not icky.
Tonight as my daughter, niece and I watched with fascination the corn transition from rock solid to crunchy edible, I was instantly transported back to my father's farm. To the small house in which he raised us. The 1970s orange walls, linoleum on the floor.
It was divine.
The process started because we were craving kettle corn. So we added a scoop of sugar into the mix.
Now, I have to admit, while the process was fun and the smells nostalgic, the end result was not great. The first batch scorched. The second was better -- but still not the sweet-salty taste for which we'd hoped.
Though far from perfect, it was a fun and rewarding experience and one we hope to repeat.
Like Christine said in her comments after my last post, humans, like my kettle corn, are flawed and great at the same time.
I love to sit in public places and watch people. More and more, my heart breaks when I see those that clearly are trying to duplicate a notion of American perfection. Fashionable, thin, makeup and hair without flaw.
Most are women and often are good and kind women that spend incredible amounts of time to achieve this perfect look because it makes them feel less vulnerable in a vicious world.
As I move further away from that mindset, I have to wonder how much good could be accomplished in this country if everyone let go of the quest for perfection. Could we solve the hunger crisis? Could we teach the illiterate to read? Could we reduce or even end eating disorders or other addictions?
I'm not sure, but it would seem a better use of time.
I know in my case the quest for perfection has a pretty big root system. I was bounced around a lot as a child -- from relative to relative. I'm sure that instability in my young life left me feeling like if I were just a bit better, I could stay in one place. My step-mother's religion also contributed. It's a religion that teaches the better you act, the more good you do, the closer to perfect you are, the more likely you are to get into heaven. As adult, I have decided I don't think that's true, but I do catch myself repeating those old messages to myself. I know the media has added pressure, along with the fashion and diet industries which tell you with backing from a good deal of the medical industry that we must a) always look good b) be happy all the time and c) fit into unreasonable stereotypes in order to be socially acceptable.
The more I have tried to pull away from those roots, the better I have started to feel about myself. In no way has it been easy. The quest for perfection is deeply ingrained in my psyche.
The reality is we were never created to all look and act the same. From my perspective, which is grounded in a Christian philosophy, we were put on this earth to use our God-given talents to love and support one another physically, mentally and emotionally.
God's love is unconditional and we are challenged in Christianity to love one another as God has loved us. Yet, loving ourselves is one of the most difficult challenges most of us face.
I was reading through a list of conversation starters the other day and one of the questions was "if a friend spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?"
In my case, not very long.
I have to work on a daily, sometimes hourly basis to turn off those voices that call me to perfection.
What I know at this part in my life is that I will never be perfect, so there's no sense in fighting this futile battle. I am as God created me, imperfect. Could I do better in my life? Make better choices? Probably. But what I can definitely do is exist and embrace me as a Divine being -- in much the same way God embraces me as a Divine being.
Even better, I can accept you as a Divine being too -- and together we can spend the time we would normally spend obsessing about how we're not good enough doing something that actually matters....
How about making popcorn?
(Thanks, Chris, for inspiring this post)